cricket with balls

This is Cameron’s illegal entry in the competition to win one of three signed copies of the year of the balls 2008: a disrespetive by telling us how cricket with balls is ruining cricket. As you will all know I am a stickler for the rules, especially of cricket and  grammar, and this is clearly way more than 200 words. I had to put it up though, cause it is insane.

…because his perverted, vitriolic brand of cricket commentary infused with sexual overtones has long got those overtly ostentatious administercrat twats from the home of cricket riled with immense anger since his arrival on the cricket blog scene. They have long since attempted to remove his blog citing the Law 69bumfuck, that any cricket writing must first be sanctioned by the ICC. JRod replied with a fuck you, and much like the days of the rum trade continued his black market trade with renewed intensity. This only caused more anger and the Administercrats hired Lalit “Money” Modi to take care of the situation and remove JRod. Modi got to work on a master plan to eliminate the devil himself, JRod and his Satanic versus forever. Consequently years from now, with the plan in place, Modi will hire a band of Probots to conspire to end the Balls as we know it. Unsuspecting Dirty Dirk and Nice Bryce will be kidnapped by the Probots, drugged and forced by no will of their own to get In Bed With Jacques Kallis. During this horrific act of sexual slavery they will be implanted with anal probes with bombs attached, set to go off in a months time when they both meet JRod for an interview about why everybody should hate South Africans. Unfortunately for Modi and mob, John Buchanan will be hired to set the bombs after they found out he had once read the Jolly Roger cook book online. John had strengthened his argument for inclusion in the plan when he revealed he had read the Art of War several times. But poor John didn’t live up to his reputation. He would hire ‘multiple captains’ to set the timers but this band of inept idiots would not do the job of one man and subsequently set the bombs to go off in the IPL – now being held in England because India had invaded and taken over the British Isle a year earlier. In game 45 when Dirty Dirk and Nice Bryce are working in tandem taking down the worlds best cricketers the anal probe bombs will go off and blow up every international cricketer who ever lived. Strangely a black hole will emerge and suck the home of cricket into it and hence erase all knowledge that cricket was ever invented. Due to the strange scientific black hole phenomenon peoples memories will be wiped of the beloved game. Cricket Balls will become attached to ropes and become enormous anal beads for the sexually experimental and bats will become an instrument linked to increasing violence on the streets. The resultant outcome is not just the ruining of cricket but its complete destruction. All thanks to JRod and his wicked ways!