It should be said that Alistair Cook has a lot of talent.
He makes runs, maybe not as many as he should, but he
It’s just that when I watch him bat I want to kill myself.
He puts me into a suicidal trancelike coma.
His forward prods makes me think of a gun to the skull.
The squidges through point make me want to slice my wrist in the proper straight down the vein way.
When he clips the ball through to the leg side I fantasise about drowning.
And when he hooks, I think of swallowing a nail bomb, and when he pulls i think of jumping off a roof naked onto a row of picket fences.
I know he is a proper test batsman, and that there is a certain grace to that, it’s just that he never plays shots I want to watch.
The only shot I think he could play that I like would be a defensive shot that ends up as a top edge into his throat, that would make me want to live.
I don’t dislike Cook, even his eyeliner doesn’t bother me, it’s just that watching him is dangerous to my health.
Cook bored me so much today I almost switched over to the IPL.
Which is a form of cricket suicide I spose.
I’m afraid you’re not the only one! Countless have been the occasions, when I’ve seen him attempt the pull shot, that I’ve felt stabbing myself in the eye with a honed implement would be a much better pastime, but then I fantasise of Jesse playing the cover drive and all is well in my little world.
So, I guess Cook wont be be coming a cult leader of any form anytime soon. You just cant stand good left handers.
I actually had switched on the channel to watch some good Test cricket after reading about the intense Edwards-Anderson battle. I saw Cook forward prodding the shit out of Benn’s deliveries and for a moment I actually thought Test cricket is in the dumps.
It is not that defensive batting is bad. Heck, Dravid can play out a full day and 50 but he still is watcheable. Cook is just suicide inducing.
Why don’t you play in ICC T20 world cup?You are handsome, but not much as Suart. Are you a gay with him?.You are so lovable.You have sharp bright eyes.
If you took part in Icc T-20 your team would absolutely win.