465 Lord’s members have just died.
465 simultaneous heart attacks.
The event that triggered this was Graeme Swann opening the bowling.
A move so shocking, and ill conceived that the old grey army in the Long Room just started dropping like flies.
Lord Bubblefardt, Lords’ chief head wobbler, had this to say:
“We have no problem with revolutionary captaincy, as long as it is tabled, a committee has passed it, and all of our members have received written conformation of said action. This sort of ‘on the fly twaddle’ is just not cricket. People have died. Important people. These weren’t football yobs slammed into a fence; these were pillars of the community, every one of them resplendent in jacket and tie. This is just not cricket.”
The ECB has already formed a taskforce to look into this massive tragedy.
The new team of Flower and Strauss will have a lot of questions to answer.
Moments before the deaths happened, Sky received several phone calls complaining of a “tut tut” sound in the effects mics.
As of yet, they two incidences have not been linked.