England hate art

The unbelievable has happened, Darren Eyelids Pattinson has been left out of England’s squad to play the West Indies.

As has Vaughan, Bell and Harmison.

Welcome to the new England.

In comes Bresnan from Yorkshire, and Onions from Durham.

No Robbie Joseph.

The number 3 spot, which was to be between Shah, Vaughan, Bell and Key, was taken by Bopara, come on that is pretty fucken funny.

All the talk in the media about these 4, and the selectors take someone else, forgetting the tremendous waste of sperm, the pie eater, the artist and the nervous bastard.

The squad: A Strauss (Middlesex, capt) J Anderson (Lancashire) R Bopara (Essex)T Bresnan (Yorkshire)S Broad (Nottinghamshire) P Collingwood (Durham) A Cook (Essex) G Onions (Durham) M Panesar (Northamptonshire) K Pietersen (Hampshire) M Prior (Sussex)G Swann (Nottinghamshire)

Probable team:

The Wing Commander Strauss

Eyeliner Cook

Rav the Chav

KP

Malfunctioning Probot Collingwood

Bald Fumbler Number 43 Prior

The batting all rounder Broad

Token Yorkshireite Bresnan

Swann from Mars

Male Model Anderson

Stinky Headline bait Onions

The Mascot Monty as 12th

Interesting side really.

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0 thoughts on “England hate art

  1. Jamie64 says:

    Onions has some talent. It’s about time he got a run. I’d rate him above Anderson.

  2. poopsie says:

    Does that side have a better chance of making 300 runs an innings or take 20 wickets? Not sure I see either

  3. Sunny says:

    forgive me for my ignorance but where is hoggard? did he join the ICL or something?

  4. Ben says:

    From this selection I can now confidently predict the lineup for the first Ashes test. The squad: A Strauss (Middlesex, capt) A Cook (Essex) R Bopara (Essex) K Pietersen (Hampshire) P Collingwood (Durham) A Flintoff M Prior (Sussex) S Broad (Nottinghamshire) G Swann (Nottinghamshire) A Bowler J Anderson (Lancashire)

  5. Why’s Ben picked Flintoff – I thought he’d died in South African IPL hell hole.
    Swann to play instead of Monty, too many West Indian left handers.
    One Yorkshiteman in the side is too much, can’t believe they’ve picked Bresnan over Sajid.
    I miss Pattinson.
    I once played against Ravi Bopara – he got 0, so did I

  6. jamie64 says:

    Robbie Joseph must be close to selection given that there’s no real pace in the line up.

    • jrod says:

      Jamie64, he hasn’t always had great press from down Kent way, but I get the feeling that will change this year…

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