The Ultimate IPL Guide: Rajasthan Royals

The hot plumber

Porn star: Shane Warne

The IPL turned into the Dhoni and Warne show last year, Warne would prefer it was just about him.

Pole Dancer: Shane Watson

Will be busy in Pakistan, but was the best player in last year’s tournament, much as it pains me to say. Is coming back from a record-breaking 368th cricket injury.

Boy Next Door: Yusuf Pathan

India’s Chris Gayle wannabe. Was a major force last time, and now has a bit of international experience. No body in world cricket hits the ball harder.

Model: None

Say what you want about Rajasthan, but every player in this squad is paid what they deserve, can give them something and there are no passengers.

Home made/Amateur: Take your pick

Kamran Khan was bowling with a tennis ball up until recently, is now the most hyped up young player in the IPL.
Tyrone Henderson is South Africa’s Afridi and often rocks up with 70s porn hair.
Dinesh Salunkhe was the runner up on a cricket reality show.
Lee Carseldine was a washed up 30 something Queenslander last year.

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0 thoughts on “The Ultimate IPL Guide: Rajasthan Royals

  1. Jay says:

    intervention

  2. Ankit Mishra says:

    something that might help the reader – Dinesh Salunkhe is in India

    something i would like to ask:

    How are Harwood and Quiney?

    • jrod says:

      Ankit,

      Harwood just played a couple of games for Australia, sort of jogs in and bowls at 90mph. Big reason why Victoria are so good at white ball cricket, generally bowls bouncers or yorkers, very rarely inbetween.

      Quiney is there on the basis that he made 90 off about 160 in the 2020 final for the vics. Doesn’t look like much, but if he gets set, he can smash any bowler,creamed brett lee and stuart clark once in a batting powerplay.

  3. Annalize says:

    Why can’t gorgeous Morne be their model?

  4. Maggie Rhodes says:

    You had to give Smiffy a role surely. He can be the porn star. He should be vying with Shane Watson for that. As for model, that’s easy, it would have to be Morne Morkel. That super hunk could easily get a job modelling anyway, I bet he supplements his cricket with runway work.

    Royals won’t do as well this year with Shane Watson being in Pakistan and Warnie barely rolling his arm over these days. How rusty will he be?

  5. poopsie says:

    Maggie, I think you will find Smith is the team fluffer

  6. Abigail says:

    Smith should be the team cushion, the rest can practise their moves bouncing off him. Seriously, is he currently the fattest guy in world cricket? Smacks of unprofessionalism if you ask me. Cricket SA should set him targets before he’s able to take the field. No wonder he’s struggled a bit this summer.

    I agree with the other guys, Morne Morkel would be the cutest in world cricket and must be the model. He would be a reason for nude cricket. His brother and AB aren’t too shabby either. SA has the best looking team all right, even though I follow the Aussies.

    Shane Warne has to be the porn star.

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