Reporting this tournament in any sort of conventional style would be pretending this is a sporting event.
It’s not. Its an entertainment juggernaut.
It doesn’t matter who wins or loses, but who entertains you.
Here is a run down of the players who can be relied upon for some sort of pleasure.
Bangalore
Still look like a librarian, but more one you’d like to do learn the dewy decimal system from.
Porn Star: KP
The man they all wanted. Won’t be there long, has a shocking 2020 record, but will have every camera and microphone pointed at him. Captaining, because that worked so well for him last time.
Pole Dancer: Jesse Ryder
An absolute bargain buy, but could end up as the go to guy for Bangalore with his hitting, occasional wobblers, and general presence, Bangalore might just jump on the big fella’s back and ride him towards the finals.
The boy next door: Virat Kohli
Probably the poorest looking Indian line up in the league. Kohli stands out, is still young, but looks like a freak with the bat.
Model: Rahul Dravid
Made a lot of runs last time, but not at a great rate. Is just not suited to this format, and is here because he is a legend of Indian cricket, not because he is a great 2020 player.
Home Made/Amateur: Roelof van der Merwe.
Smashing Australia at the moment. Handy spinner and ADD like hitter.
Hello friend, go and check ipl 1 records. Dravid did better than david hussey in avg, runs and not greatly behind in strike rate compared to him. Nobody else including boucher plucked a blade of grass for royal challengers. Don’t be lazy – check the stats. I suppose KP, virat, ryder, taylor, boucher will outshine him in ipl 2 but that doesn’t mean hwe wasn’t the saving grace for bangalore last year
@raj – and don’t forget that dravid was better than that fat fuck kallis too.
@jrod – vijay mallya and jesse ryder are a match made in heaven!
Raj – but did Grace want to be saved from witnessing such a torturous campaign? For IPL2 it would be better for you to compare Dravid with Brad Hodge, as that is what Brad does
Raj, i didn’t need to check the recors, as i said he made alot of runs. D Hussey failed in the first IPL. But Dravid is not suited to 2020 cricket, and he is on over 1 million dollars and not worth the pay day.
dravid to mallya: take that biatch! i got 99 problems but T20 ain’t one.
Sunny, I second that!
“Model: Rahul Dravid… Is just not suited to this format” Bit hard to argue with man of the match, no?!
the ryder falling for nought was hard to stomach, but then again the bangalore super master emperors are more or less your typical expertly swapping cock from pussy to ass tape from youporn, so you KNEW the rahul would come through. it´s what he does. winning shit.
No no sunny – facts don’t matter. Jrod and poopsie think rahul is not suited to 20-20. That’s it – no questions asked.
Poop and jrod, repeat. His captaincy was poor – but he was the best batsman for brc last year and one of the better ones in ipl-w – better than sachin, pontting, d hussey, a gilly, devilliers, rohit sharma and a bunch of other 20-20 stalwartss. You are welcome to be prejudiced but facts are facts – much as you can eloquently present your prejudiced opinions, eloquence doesn’t help you change facts – unfortunately, cricinfo is accessible to all and sundry and your lies can easily be disproved.
Btw, if you mean dravid is not capable of.sexy batting of 20-20, watch yesterday’s match – who was the only challenger to read warne? Dravid ofcourse. Shows clearly that you cna get by with yuvrajs and.virats on flat pitches agianst 3rd rate bowlers but against the best, you need sachin and rahul. So much for the 2020 specialistsm let’s see what hair d hussey plucks today – and did d hussey blaze for oz in 2020? No, he was pathetic except for one flashy88. But he is.a vic so he is the best 2020 batsman eh? Nice.
Jrod, you have to check the records because dravid’s strike rate was better than may T20 ‘stalwarts’. You’ll be suurprised. That is why I am saying don’t be lazy like a indiqan cricket reporter or a oz cricket columnist – doesn’t befit your fine blog to wave about in prejudice and lazy blogging. You’ll lose the equity you have buuilt up
Another flop last year – check mahela and sanga’s records.
I usually trust my own opinion Raj, and I saw him play about 8 IPL games, even in the games he made runs and saved the Royals. He is a class batsman, but as far as spending 1 million dollars on him for a 2020 tournament, he’d have to have made his runs a hell of a lot faster, or learn to bowl, to be value for money for me.
[...] – JRod has kindly previewed all the teams so I didn’t have to – here’s his Royals run-down. [...]
@jrod – you mean value like freddie? how much faster was KP in scoring?
Sunny, Didn’t i make Freddie a model as well?
How about KP. His career strike rate in T20′s is 106.20 or something. 20 points lesser than Rahul Dravid – yet, you’ll think KP is more value for money than Rahul, wont you? Isnt it just plain prejudice? Why not admit that its plain prejudice? Its not like we expect you to be free of that – I mean, not everyone can be Gilly and maintain a spotless image even while being an alleged paedophile. We still love your blog but this opinion is prejudiced, in my opinion.
I love the post.. yes IPL might be renamed as Indian porn league.. and then Modi will become a pornstart i guess.
can you do something similar for owners of IPL ?
it should be fun..