No, he hasn’t made runs, or even conceded any more.
He has a bionic tummy bug known as gastro.
Gastro is short for Gastroenteritis, which is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach, legspinning skills and the small intestine and resulting in acute diarrhea/loss of control.
Gastroenteritis often involves stomach pain or spasms (sometimes to the point of being crippled and loss of a controllable length), diarrhea and/or vomiting, with noninflammatory infection of the upper small bowel, suddenly pickable wrongun or inflammatory infections of the colon.
- Nausea and vomiting
- Diarrhea
- Loss of appetite
- Abdominal pain
- Long hops
- Bloody stools (dysentery)
- Weakness on non spinning pitches
A few loose stools and vomiting may be the result of lifeless pitches, urinary tract infection, no spin, and even meningitis. Surgical conditions such as appendicitis, intussusception and, rarely, limp wrists, even Hirschsprung’s disease may mislead the clinician.
Gastroenteritis sometimes is followed by pneumonia, which is potentially fatal to the elderly.
Oh, and Peter Sizzle has the runs too.
Perhaps they should stop eating off each others plates.
Bryce, if you’re reading this:
1) boil a kettle
2) mix some sugar and boiling water in a cup
3) drink it
4) eat a banana.
If you’re going to wilfully ignore my advice and take an over-the-counter remedy, for the love of god read the packet. The last thing we, i mean you, need is a drugs scandal.
Yes all very fascinating but what about the domestic ODI final. Oh Victoria!
And for heavens sake dont take anything your mom gives you. Even if it is to shed that double chin.
Could you alos define ‘psychosomatic’ for us Jrod? I believe that is when your body decides to shit itself in sympathy with your mind already shitting uitself as you face a task you know you are not up for.
Ned, if he is psychosomatic, does that make Peter Siddle’s gastro sympathetic?
It depends. Who got sick first? Copycat-ism is a prime symptom of mental illness. And did Siddle’s shoulder go pop and run at the first taste of curry? Did Siddle miss his plane? Methinks that a lifetime of hiding in small rooms, doing a bit of IT business for the world’s most conservative industry, talking about doodle-whiznots and goolumdingles or whatever the hell Attechup was on about re punditit, may not be the best psycholgical training for wearing your balls outside your trousers as Test Cricket requires you to do. Test cricket is no place for the world’s little men. Of course, I’m happy to be proved wrong, but Bryce McGoo aint been doin’ the provin’ to me yet. Sorry, Jrod.
Can you imagine what would happen if Bryce McGain was in karachi where even umpires might get runs.