cricket with balls

The lump of shit/cowdirtgate involving beer, Roy & HG, Prince Brendan and a soused Roy just took another victim.

Andrew Symonds’ testicles.

The 4,000 clam fine was a bait and switch.

The real fine was his manhood.

Sorry son, you are too mentally fucked up to play for Australia.

We wont have you, and your alcoholic nature tainting this losing team.

The team needs more sober players who just aren’t up to it.

James Sutherland has spoken.

Some may question why they bothered to fine him for his comments if they were intending to suspend him from another tour, don’t bother, you can’t possibly understand inside the mind of an administracrat like Sutherland.

James has prescribed more pshychological counselling.

Which is all fine for a normal Probot, but Roy is like the Irish, impervious to psychobabble, it just isn’t in his nature.

Symonds’ career is all but over.

There was a time when Ricky carried a certain amount of power, and he used that power to get the players he liked in the team.

Ricky has no such power now.

And sports drinks, banks or breakfast cereal will not tolerate Roy’s anti corporate behaviour.

Roy is learning about generational change first hand, and it reminds me of a line in Sin City.

“Dwight: Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. He’d be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody’s face. Or in a Roman arena, taking his sword to other gladiators like him. They woulda tossed him girls like Nancy back then.”

Roy was born at the dawn of a new era, the time when Australian players were lauded for drinking efforts dissolved 10 years ago, and now the men in suits control the game, and all transgressions that separate you lead to an exit.

He will be 34 soon, and Cricket Australia won’t let a man on the way out sully their dream of a corporate utopia.