BRYCE INJURED

NO, No , No NO, No no n ono n o non ono

This cannot be happening,

Bryce is injured.

His shoulder.

It no worky.

His fucking bowling shoulder.

Just when my Beau Casson voodoo doll works, Beau Casson’s mum uses a spell she saw on Passions and Bryce is fucked.

He didn’t bowl at all today, which is a shame as the India A tail fell apart, lots of cheap wickets were there to be had while Beau was getting his groin touched by men.

Why is this happening to me Bryce.

It is an actual tragedy, not like Princess Di dying or Steve Irwin chest fucking a stinger, but a real life tragedy.

This is horrible.

This is by far the worst thing to ever happen, ever.

The world seems like a cold and dark place.

Of all the rainy days and false starts that cricket has given us there has never been a depression like this just sweep the cricket world in one foul swoop of darkness and the sudden chest pressing of heart ache and loss that no one person should ever have to live through like outliving your children or learning that santa claus is a pedophile which are not even apt metaphors as this is far worse than even having to eat your own testicles covered in your own feces does which still doesn’t compare to this this this horrible moment in human history the holocaust of cricket moments infact some may say worse than the holocaust it makes the tsunami look like a ripple and people will be saying i remember where i was when bryce got hurt and they will cry and wail and we can only hope that one day the world will make sense again and that the aliens do infact have a plan for us where hurting someone as pure and good as bryce makes sense.

Ofcourse on the plus side I now know my voodoo doll works, was a bit worried when it was reported that Beau had injured his hamstring, I knew I wasn’t poking there.

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0 thoughts on “BRYCE INJURED

  1. Miriam says:

    O NOES! On the plus side, this may be my favourite CWB post ever. Just like all the great artists, pain brings out the best in you. You have even written a paragraph.

  2. 12th Man says:

    You could get him a ticket, you can’t protect him from injury, could you? The sub-continent is a tough place for touring sides physically. This time, it is freaking hot in this monsoon season.

  3. Homer says:

    “Of all the rainy days and false starts that cricket has given us there has never been a depression like this just sweep the cricket world in one foul swoop of darkness and the sudden chest pressing of heart ache and loss that no one person should ever have to live through like outliving your children or learning that santa claus is a pedophile which are not even apt metaphors as this is far worse than even having to eat your own testicles covered in your own feces does which still doesn’t compare to this this this horrible moment in human history the holocaust of cricket moments infact some may say worse than the holocaust it makes the tsunami look like a ripple and people will be saying i remember where i was when bryce got hurt and they will cry and wail and we can only hope that one day the world will make sense again and that the aliens do infact have a plan for us where hurting someone as pure and good as bryce makes sense.”Longest bloody sentence in the English language… The JRod has gone native alright!Cheers,

  4. Jrod says:

    Mims, thanks, but it’s not a paragraph, its a sentence. 12th, No i am struggling. Homer, I was quite proud of it.

  5. nestaquin says:

    I was just boarding the McGain train, belatedly I know, and what happens, it crashes and burns. Get your arse back home JRod, get down to the nets and bowl and bowl and bowl. Your country needs you!With every wristie with an emu and kangaroo on their passport dropping like frilly panties at a B & S there will soon be only you and Cam White available for the wrist spinner's gig next month. And seeing that you can actually turn it you're every chance mate.It's either that or we pull Dutchie Holland out of the cryogenic freezer and full him full of speed. And in an amazing coincidence, the word verification for this post is offuk. That's exactly what I said when I read the bad news.

  6. Rusty says:

    it’s instant karma, for big-mouthing after the first ODI against the BAngers, about how the team didn’t seem to miss Symonds

  7. narkins says:

    DESPAIR your in it.

  8. Jrod says:

    NQ, I’m going down to Cantebury tomorrow, i’ll see if Surrey let me play for free instead of Shoaib for practice.Rusty, sure it is. Narkins, too true.

  9. Batting in Ned Kelly's Helmet says:

    Brilliant stuff Uncy J. Can I use that sentence as my audition monologue for acting school? I can bring the tears, man.

  10. Batting in Ned Kelly's Helmet says:

    Brilliant stuff Uncy J. Can I use that sentence as my audition monologue for acting school? I can bring the tears, man.

  11. Batting in Ned Kelly's Helmet says:

    Brilliant stuff Uncy J. Can I use that sentence as my audition monologue for acting school? I can bring the tears, man.

  12. David Barry says:

    That is way better than Molly Bloom’s soliloquy.

  13. nashy says:

    Intersperse the big sentence with many swear words and thats about how I feel

  14. Kym says:

    DB, let’s not get carried away.

  15. "The Bryce is Right" says:

    Do not Fret!Bryce is actually not hurt but is being strategically held back from exposure to the Indian batsmen. Not very long ago, a mystery spinner tied up the famed Indian batting line-up in knots. Slowly but surely the Indians found a way to achieve a modicum of success against him and have just begun to unravel him.Now the OZ think they have a blueprint for sub-con success, at least for the first test. They will unleash “the Bryce” on the unsuspecting line-up for the first test and the rest as they say will become history!

  16. Jrod says:

    Ned, ofcourse. DB, I agree with Kym, comparing me with Jimmy joyce is an outrage, he wasn’t even a leggie. Nashy, it is weird i didn’t swear. TBIR, the only mystery about Bryce is, no, there is simply no mystery about Bryce.

  17. Miriam says:

    The Bryce Is Right, I am simply loving your username.

  18. horatius says:

    “The Bryce is right” copied my post as anonymous word for word.

  19. "the bryce is right" says:

    @horatius… and where is this anonymous post of yours?

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