Yesterday I watched the Nottingham Outlaws take on the Durham Dynamos (apparently they get out stains in cold water).
Was a hell of a game, mostly because neither team could decided who wanted to win less.
Plus there was two great run outs involving batsman hitting the ball back to the ball back to bowlers and running.
But the real story was Lord Megachief of Gold (aka Shivnarine Chanderpaul) yet again propping up a lemming XI batting line up.
When he went out he was statistically half the team, although in essence he was Durham, and Durham, was Shiv.
Deep.
If I were Shiv, first I’d take those stupid fucking things off my face, then I’d be pretty pissed off that every side I play for needs me to pick them up and carry them.
But once I had iced down my shoulders for the millionth time, I would think, wait a minute, is it me?
Do I bring the horror?
Am I like a cricket version of Wes Craven’s Neve Campbell?
How come every battling line up I am in falls apart?
West Indies, Bangalore, Durham are all made of Sugar.
The answer Shiv is looking for is yes, it is all his fault.
By being impossible to get out without a chainsaw, he has lulled all of his team mates into a suicidal type psychosis.
They cannot stay at the crease when he is there, they do not want to steal his thunder.
They fall on their swords, put the noose on, pull the trigger and breath second hand smoke.
He is like god to them.
Except cooler, a better batsman, and he really exists.
In conclusion, for Shiv to play in cricket sides where the batsmen don’t spontaneously combust in his presence, he needs to bat like a normal batsman, and go out occasionally.
It’s not that hard Shiv, and seriously take that shit off your face.
Are you suggesting UncleJ that Sehwag, he of the Sehwagology fame should also fail more frequently so that the rest of the lemming Indian lineup will learn to grow some balls?There may be something to that idea. Did you look at ZAK’s enormous watermelons yesterday?
No he should demand that the older prophets, false and real, should nick off. Zak’s watermelons?
I assume Anon is referring to the cojones that Zaheer grew in order to actually cause some damage to the Lankan top order. OR, Zaheer has moobs.
Miriam> Zac has moobs. Murali seems to growing some too..
Bout time Shiv performed for us, mind.He’s been taking the polyjuice potion too: http://tinyurl.com/64acmx
No he should demand that the older prophets, false and real, should nick off.Yeah. But thanks to Mendis, now that’s not gonna happen. The fab four are gonna go back to the nets and find their lost balls just to make a point and prolong the agony in the next series. I’m looking at Sachin to score a couple of centuries against ‘straya.
Anon was me BTW. I’ve finally decided this anon stuff is too confusing. Miriam has it exactly right. When the Grand Cohones of Sehwagology disappear, other cohones grow to take their place. Sometimes even multiple pairs just to make up for the enormity of those of the God of Sehwagology.
I know you won’t want to read this but Colly outbatted the ‘get that crap off from under your eyes!’ one at Uxbridge – in your favourite pro 40 style cricket match – a match that Durham won thorough actually batting!!!! It was against Middlesex mind!