KP does not write his scripts

Or his plot twists, maguffins or dialogue.

He does have a fair bit to say in his character arc, but that is where the line is drawn.

How do I know this?

Because no one would write that they go out to Paul Harris within a few runs of victory.

So Shaun Pollock, and everyone else sprouting this shocking cliché can shut the fuck up.

Phrases I will permit when discussing KP’s charmed existence:

Script Consultant

Set designer

Method Actor

Make up artist

Story developer

Jizz Mopper

England lost 4 wickets today.

Some intelligent person said they would lose 3.

Early on they played about as safe as possible, and after 11 overs they were 11 runs.

Twas very English.

But it worked, and once Cook hit out, and by hit out I mean played controlled shots along the carpet, South Africa gave up the, or any, ghost.

The crowd gave KP such adulation when he came out, that I had to check it was him, and not Johnny Cash coming back from the dead.

Forget about who writes his scripts, his Visa granter must be proud as punch.

Was the best stamp for England since Kylie went over.

Highlight of the day was when a man behind me gave Paul Harris such a verbaling, that patrons complained.

Then he stopped bagging Harris so he could bag the other patrons, and then several security guards.

Perhaps the only time Paul Harris has created real trouble at a cricket ground.

Tagged

0 thoughts on “KP does not write his scripts

  1. Soulberry says:

    I’m told the production manager of the reality cricket show insisted on a final stagemanaged twist to boost TRP ratings. It is rumored an ardent lady fan of KP is responsible for the heart-tugging script.But I generally take rumors with the proverbial pinch of salt.

  2. cricketanytime.net says:

    How annoying is Harris when he throws his hands up in the air every time the ball leaves his hand. He even does it when the ball hits the middle of the bat.He is an utter waste of space in the SA camp.

  3. SarahCanterbury says:

    I think the arms throwing up thing is very funny. As is his hair.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 9,049 other followers