This is episode 6 in the Guide to writing a cricket blog, to read all episodes click here.
Advanced blogging.
I would assume now after my guidance you have a fairly successful blog with a good name that people can Rss feed and you are on 20 or so blog rolls.
Now you need to step that sh1t up.
How, I hear you ask rather impatiently.
Through targeting the right audiences.
First thing you will need to do is know a few things about your country that people can’t find on Cricinfo.
Knowing one’s home country is an important part of blogging, as it gives you an edge over googlers and the like.
Second thing is to talk about India as much as possible.
There are about 83 kabillion in India, all of them like cricket, and all of the one with real houses own computers.
Computers + Cricket = Your blog getting hits.
I have told you to pander to them before, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t, just mentuion them all the time.
Mention the IPL.
Mention MS Gony and his baby.
Mention Sunil and his latest weird comments.
Mention all the Navjot Sidhu jokes you can think of.
Because India will look after your “hits”.
Thirdly, write in depth accurate piss takings of the English team.
India may give you hits, but England will give you respect in the wider community.
England may still be rubbish at the game they invented, but just like children of bi-polar parents, people still care for them.
England seems to give endless material to work with as well, so that helps.
Fourthy, the lady and pink market.
Don’t for one minute think ladies are not an important part of the cricket blogosphere.
This site has 25% of it’s hits from ladies.
I have been unable to tell how many of the hits I from gay Bombay an such, but I assume they come along as well.
How do I get th lady readers, well I talk about the hunks of Cricket, Vettori, Watson, Dhoni and Dirty Dirk.
The ladies (and select men) love that stuff, and will tell their other lady friends about your site and suddenly you are a co-ed cricket blog.
This will help with the blog getting you laid, which is obviously the ultimate aim for any cricket blogger.
If you are a lady blogger, then you are already chin deep in the fellas I bet.
So to reacap.
Your country = knowledge
India = hits
England = respect
Then you have the world by the balls.
It will then be time to use more of your radical right wing politics in the blog.
Compare Sunil Gavaskar to your favourite media whore, Bill O’Reilly.
Talk about George Dubya in terms that Ricky Ponting could understand.
Press home your radical plan for all test batsman to say prayers before each innings.
Explain why people should ban Muslim cricketers, and stone atheist cricketers.
Then pick a cricketer (not Andre Nel, he is mine), and you and him can take over the world and get all the chicks (or dudes) you want.
I have mastered the criticising of England… but to be honest that is not much of a challenge… Know next to nowt about the IPL so I am stuffed.
Of course you should be aware, Jrod that some of us laydeez, being bereft of photographic evidence, are fantasising about big, sonsy, sexy bloggers and read your words because we are squeeing fangirls (or is that just me?)Oh – plus of course you are my heroic leggie/masterbatsman in my 20/20 f/b team
Ceci, I’m right with you on this.
I always read CWB imagining that JRod looks like a cross between George Clooney, Mark Ramprakash and Dave Grohl and that he blogs in the nude.
When’s the next podcast?I forgot to add, good blog.
Haha. You stepped right in it UncleJ. You picked Andre Nel. I pick future PM D. Hussey.
Mel, that’s uncanny. Have you guys been webcamming or something?
Mr P, technical difficulties on the podcast at the mo but they will definitely be back, don’t worry.
Laydeez, I assure you, i look nothing like the dancing failure, the aids denying lead singer or the dude with the pig. And Ceci, I think i read masterbatsman incorrectly the first time. But I have blogged in the nude, but their was a giant penguin involved and I think I should leave it there.
Giant penguin? is that your special name for the little fella?
I read your “$ex and cricket(women)” blog and realized, you know cricket and you know us ladies (almost).Plus that was your first blog I read.And that impressed me.Now Iam here everyday (well almost)And I don’t know why criticizing Eng does help.
Leela, what do you mean Almost?Mims, No, but not a bad idea.
Jrod! The response I was hoping for from my comment was “not so little”.
Was it a chocolate coated penguin with a biscuity centre?
Think you raised your 25% there, Jrod.I’m not suggesting a new name there, by the way…
Mel, biscuity? lucky you.
Being knowledgeable of your own country is all well and good.Unless that country has only 4 million people where cricket is a minority sport.
LB, true, but you have the knowledge, if it’s ever required.
I guess that knowledge comes in handy if anyone’s particularly curious about felching.
And if ever there was a cricket blog set up for people who wanted to know about felching, this is the one.
Wow, this series is certainly intellectual… The plan for my blog just went:Set up blog.Take pictures of short woman.???Profit!
Don’t worry Brat, my plan was more likeBalls sounds good, Natalie Portman is hot, i hate Tony Greig, and leg spinners are cool. And look how far i have come.