In a SHOCKING incident reminiscent of Tonya Harding – Nancy Kerrigan, Steve Harmison has, apparently, resorted to extreme measures in a (futile – Tremlett’s back in) attempt to take out one of his fast-bowling rivals.
Poor Matthew Hoggard has had his thumb broken by a Harmison bouncer.
Now, seasoned Harmy watchers will notice that something doesn’t quite add up.
Yes, that’s right.
Harmison? Bowling with a line sufficiently precise so as to pinpoint a thumb?
WHAT THE?
There is only one possible explanation for this sudden show of extreme accuracy: the mind-mannered wayward tormented bowler is, by accumulated rage and thwarted ambition, TRANSFORMED into a being with robot-like vision and accuracy:
THE HARMONSTER
His secret identity remains safe, because it never manifests itself in a test match when people might be watching.
*thanks again to Ceci and Mel for the beauteous photoshopping.
Bloody bloody bloody Tremlett. Len, that absolute paragon of a Yorkshire cricket blogger described him perfectly “Tremlett has been given just about all the physical attributes a fast bowler could want, but marries them to the body language of someone who’d rather be nursing a kitten back to health.”Back to stroking your pussy Trem! If I can’t have Harmy we should have Onions instead.
Ceci, I feel your pain, so much so that I can even see past the kitten-hating talk. Poor Harmy must have thought “Right, take out Hoggy AND demonstrate my accuracy at the same time. What can possibly go wrong?”.
Pussy Tremlett must be wetting himself – will the HARMONSTER be after him next?
What’s with all the anti-Tremlett proaganda? Last I saw him was at Trentbridge when he made it bloody difficult for Tendulkar to carry India across. What’s happened since?
Chris Tremlett is just about the most pointless bowler in the history of the universe, and I’ve seen Dean Headley bowl.
Say what you will about Headley, he had a great shaped head.