Telephone call recorded in Ahmedabad, 9 May 2008
Participants are known only as H and S.
H: Hi babes, how’s it going? Is your face better? I’m so sorry again for the slap.
S: It’s going fine. And I forgive you for the slap. I’m over the slap and want to move on. Making up after we fought was the sweetest pleasure I’ve ever known.
H: Same for me too.
S: People still don’t really believe we’ve made up though. Even when we said that we wanted to share a room, they just laughed. Is it time to leak our special video?
H: No, no, no, that’s the nuclear option and must be kept only for the most exceptional circumstances.
S: But what else do we have left?
H: What about a special ceremony publicly declaring our feelings each other?
S: Good idea H. We’d better start planning it.
H: We’d walk in together to “My Heart Will Go On”.
S: Oh. I was hoping for Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits.
H: It’s “My Heart Will Go On” or I’m not doing it.
S: OK, ok, calm down.
H: I’m perfectly calm.
S: Oh let’s not fight again baby.
H: Then I thought we’d have a reading. Andrew Symonds could read an exerpt from “The Prophet”.
S: Oh, yes, I like that.
H: Then I want to sing “Hurt” by Christina Aguilera, to you.
S: And I’ll sing “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain, to you.
H: Then another reading: Ricky Ponting, sonnet 120 – “That you were once unkind befriends me now”.
S: Then a song for all present to sing together.
H: “Hit me baby one more time”?
S: That’s not funny.
H: Sorry. What about “Hit me with your rhythm stick?”
S: Again, not funny.
H: What about Tom Lehrer’s “Masochism Tango”?
S: *cries*
H: FINE. What do you want then? Roy Orbison “Crying”?
S: “Drama” by Erasure.
H: (sigh). Fine. Then, we could convey how we feel for each other through the medium of interpretive dance.
S: We also need to decide on what we wear.
H: I was thinking powder blue Hedi Slimane suits.
S: Excellent call.
H: Well, I think we’ve pretty much got this wrapped so hang up now S.
S: No you hang up.
H: No you hang up.
S: Let’s both hang up at the same time.
H: ok.
(5 seconds pass)
H: You’re still there aren’t you?
S: Yes. but so are you
H: Right now we really are going (hangs up).
S: Are you still there? Hello? *cries*.
Thanks to commenter “Indian” for the tip off.
Hahhaha… but such a transcript is incomplete with a little “maa” “behn” in it!
Q, you may need to explain that to me…
Oh sorry Miriam.. thats a reference to a few expletives commonly used by Punjabi men (Harbhajan).. the expletives are words that should not be used in a public forum and basically inolves swearing using references to family members.:-)Btw, where is the J Rod? It looks like u’ve taken over Cricket with Balls!
Ah, thanks for the explanation. I think if I tried to put in Punjabi expletives it would be a disaster waiting to happen, so readers will just have to imagine the relevant words.The Jrod will be back any second; I’m just manning the fort for him to ensure that you people continue to have the seamless 24-hour service to which you have become accustomed.
Miriam,How can you not get “maa ki”, after the bastard monkey scandal few months back? Thanks for thanks, by the way.
Indian, thanks for the thanks for the thanks. I thought I’d better steer clear of any words in languages I don’t actually speak, because I was afraid of causing an international incident by accidentally saying “death to the infidel” or similar.
Yay a spelling mistake! JRod’s criticism is paying off.
Lol, glad you appreciate my attempts to adapt my writing style for the site.
Thanks M, I like my beauty flawed cause then you know it’s real.