The other day, a little flyer popped into my letterbox.
MISSING: Dirty Dirk Nannes
LAST SEEN: “Apparently, last seen boarding a plane to Japan to (not) ski … before fattening his wallet in the UK”.
APPEARANCE: Bearded.
REWARD FOR INFORMATION: a photo of Natalie Portman, autographed by Jrod, OR a photo of Jrod, autographed by Natalie, depending on gender of finder.
However, when I described the nature of the mision in order to garner a search party from amongst my fellow detectives, they all said “bearded man frequenting funfairs on his own? Nah, this is specialist stuff luv, you wanna go up to the 5th floor for the people who do that”.
Next stop was a CAMRA festival, as he is a bearded man. But when I showed them the picture, they said “Call that a beard? I’ve seen more convincing beards standing next to Tom Cruise”.
Next, I tried walking the street wearing an “I’m Looking For Dirty Dirk” tshirt. Maybe the text was too small or something, but all I got was “right here, baby!”. Over and over again. And none of these people were Dirk.
“Oh” he said. “Version 2 is better”.
I said “Dirk, Dirk, Dirk. You know what I’m going to say, don’t you. Yes, that’s right. Someone like you who is destitute in the street asking for a game is not in a position to express a preference as to what kind of game”.
Dirty Dirk, if you’re out there, come say hello. This is a safe place.
*A HUGE cricketwithballs thank you to Ceci for her brilliant photoshop work.
I am so drawn to the bearded one. I feel he is more misunderstood than Harmy and his sobriquet “Dirty” leads me to hope for some Antipodean fun and japes.And Tom Cruise is not the manliest of men? You learn something new at cricketwithballs EVERY day!
Ceci, I know EXACTLY what you mean about Dirty Dirk. Re Tom Cruise, I must stress that I was simply quoting the CAMRA guys. The views they express do not necessarily represent those of the author, etc etc.
Who is bristlier – Nicole or Katie? I conducted an in depth poll by asking MrStickywicket, only to disturbingly discover that he’d like to shave Penelope Cruz.
Oops. maybe it’s all my fault!I kicked a bum outside Lords for having the temerity to ask for a sip of my champagne!The bally cheek.
Miriam,That’s a really good post. Think how good you could become if you didn’t waste time navigating the early pubescent world of Facebook…
Leg Break, I can’t imagine a higher standard of post.
He signed for Middlesex, lucky team. OBviously he is going to go oer to Switzerland to ski halfway through the season.How come Future PM and CWB’s Nice Bryce added you as a friend on facebook and not me??
Maybe one should read a whole post before commenting but I’m like a Victorian batsman, I couldn’t be stuffed concentrating. ICC 2002 is the best
Nashy, will enjoy Nicholas Natanui, is that you?
Yes
Then you are my friend.
Nashy, couldn’t be stuffed concentrating? Honestly, after all the trouble I went to, breaking up the paragraphs for you people.
Yeh but I’d rather be a friend of Furture PM or Bryce, no offence.
Then ask them, i see your already a little facebook cricket stalker, so it shouldn’t be a stretch for ya.
“Little Facebook cricket stalker”-Half my friends are cricketers or footy players. I was the one who told Trevor Bayliss about Pomersbach’s drinking thanks to facebook photos. Ivé asked them, they don’t seem interested
Good stuff. I don’t know anyone.
It’s true Nashy, he doesn’t even know me.
I believe that Stuart Broad is the current Holy Grail of cricket facebook friends- many ask, but few receive his patronage.
Version 2 Is better.
Anonymous, is that you Dirty Dirk? Again, I’m sorry, but Version 3 was all I had on me.
Please one and all, come and join the Dirty Dirk revolution!!http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=15609623654For there is no greater than the bearded one….