don’t kill charl

Charl Langeveldt has opted out of the tour to India.

Because “the controversy over the selection of the squad so upset him he feels he won’t be in the right frame of mind for the matches.”

Don’t give us that nonsense Charl, big Andre got to you.

It’s obviously partly my fault.

I did call for him to kill you, but at the time I thought it was justified, and plus it was in my podcast so that doesn’t count.

I may have got that call wrong.

It’s just that you really bore us Charl, and I thought if Andre killed you he might get reinstated.

You can see the logic in htat, surely.

Your death, for the greater good of the cricket watching public.

Now you have quit the tour, and presumably gone into hiding on the same island as Hansie Cronje.

I do apologise, almost sincerely, but now I will do even better, I will retract the cricket fatwa I imposed on you.

Andre, for fu©k sakes don’t kill the man.

I have bigger plans for you anyway, your cricket career is obviously over, so why not look into a bit of administracrat restructuring.

You know the people who are calling for this quota, so find them and destroy them.

Use your evil powers for good Andre.

Then when you are finished with the quota loving administracrats, you and I will take over the world.

Like we have always planned.

Now be gone Andre, your master needs his rest.

Tagged ,

0 thoughts on “don’t kill charl

  1. Leg Break says:

    It’ll be bloody interesting to see who they call as a replacement because, in theory, shouldn’t it be another black?

  2. Jrod says:

    Or coloured.

  3. miriam says:

    these quotas are just ridiculous.

  4. Leg Break says:

    If Daniel Vettori was South African would he fit into some coloured quota?

  5. miriam says:

    isn’t Cape coloured something specific?

  6. Moses @ OxenShizer says:

    I believe Cape Coloured is a group of different ethnicities given the same classification under Apartheid. Many are African/Caucasian however there are also Malays, Indonesians and Indians who were bought in by the dutch as slaves into the Cape Town region. Not sure on the % African one is required to be to count as a quota player – in Australia I believe 1/16th is enough to be Aboriginal.

  7. Leg Break says:

    So it has to be specifically African or Cape Coloured then?So if a similar system was introduced in NZ, Jeetan Patel, Ross Taylor and Andre Adams (jury still seems to be out on Vettori) wouldn’t earn you any quota points?Whereas 94% Caucasian Jamie How would…Yup, it makes heaps of sense.

  8. miriam says:

    it just shows how ridiculous it is, classifying people always classifying people.

  9. Moses @ OxenShizer says:

    Indian’s are ‘black’ in South Africa as well. Chineese are not really defined as previously disadvantaged or otherwise.”Overt racial discrimination is not illegal in South Africa. In terms of the Employment Equity Act of 1998 employers are required to discriminate against individuals from the ‘over-represented’ white minority until demographic proportionality has been received.”

  10. Deepak says:

    I liked this article, especially the last bit.I want to hear what Norman Arse-end give in his press confrence. If he doesn’t pick Nel, he’ll get castigated, if does pick Nel he’ll commit suicide, pick your poison.

  11. miriam says:

    Moses what’s that quote from?

  12. Moses @ OxenShizer says:

    @Miriam: hereIt’s from a story about a government job that told whites need not apply

  13. Straight Point says:

    till yesterday he was joking very good (like he said he can swing both ways…etc..)i donno why he suddenly changed his stance…

  14. Leg Break says:

    Moses,How are Italians classified in these enlightened rules?And what about Taylor? 1/2 Scot, 1/2 Samoan (remember they came from China) ?

  15. miriam says:

    i find quotas patronising.

  16. Miss Field says:

    Miriam do you ever sleep?

  17. miriam says:

    not very much, no.

  18. Miss Field says:

    By choice? Or just don’t need to?

  19. Suave says:

    Mims is like Margaret Thatcher, only needs four hours sleep a night.I think Charl has been a brave boy, and deserves some respect for taking the stance he has.They’ll probably replace him with the worst bowler in history, Roger Telemachus

  20. Miss Field says:

    Bleurgh! What an insult to Miriam.Yeah I concur, respect.

  21. Jrod says:

    I did actually start to write this blog to give Charl respect, but it ended up with me and Andre taking over the world.But most things do.

  22. Miss Field says:

    Like Pinky and the Brain?

  23. Suave says:

    I’d say Andre’s got the brains!

  24. Jrod says:

    Gee, Andre, what are we going to do tonight?

  25. Miss Field says:

    Ahh! Brilliant. Humour me here…The same thing we do every night Jrod… try and take over the world.

  26. Martha McDoogle says:

    Blogger Jrod said…Gee, Andre, what are we going to do tonight? Think about sexing up my sister and murdering Jacques Kallis.Same as we do every night Jrod

  27. miriam says:

    I don’t know, you try to have a serious conversation about race and it always WITHOUT FAIL ends up being about sexing Cinde and killing Jacques Kallis.

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