Night starts off bad, as father and I have to convince mother to watch some crappy reality show in another room.
Mark Nicholas starts with a message about Rianna Ponting’s bun in the oven. Strangely no Michael Slater jokes. But Mark Nicholas does look radiant.
Gilly tributes start early with Ponting and Nicholas eager to out do each other.
Channel nine changes tact and puts in a quick quiz to the players on what the ten modes of dismissal are, I got nine, bloody hitting the ball twice got me.
Sri Lanka test series highlights forget to mention King Kumar’s innings, I get the feeling this is not going to be a night about cricket, but just about Channel 9 and Australian cricket.
India test series highlights had only the slightest bastard monkey references.
Sri Lanka series is so not important that no one bothers to read them out, India series is so important Mark Taylor’s expert oral skills and brought out.
The test player of the year (in a year of 6 home tests) is Brett Lee. Brad Hogg very unlucky to miss out.
Blonde Bimbo count is high, people sucking up to Gilly much higher.
Amazing that Mark Nicholas can still stand and talk, all the blood is rushing to his trousers at the moment.
They pretend to talk about cricket ads, but instead get some great plugs for Valvoline and Ford into the show. Bet that’s cheaper than the superbowl ads.
Roy gets interviewed and is still the funniest Australian cricketer, but that’s like being the sexiest Spice girl.
Roy And HG (not theAndrew Symonds Roy) give us some comedy. They get off to a slow start, but there are enough jokes in there, and they give a retrospective AB medal to John Glesson the one fingered mysterious bowler.
Channel 9 gave Kerry Packer and Tony Greig a tribute in the guise of World Series cricket. Max Walker and Len Pascoe come out well.
More Gilly sucking up, he gets on stage and even he seems to think it’s too much. Then Richie trots out to give him an empty wine bottle for being so good. It is encrusted not with jewels but with the Channel 9 logo. Would get upwards of 50 bucks on ebay.
An hour into the coverage and we have looked at 6 tests.
Australia’s one day losses to England and New Zealand are glossed over expertly, with world cup games against Scotland given more coverage.
Luke Pomersbach gets Bradman young player of the year award, he looks soberish.
Lisa Sthalekar got female player of the year award for the second year running. Heard her speak recently, she speaks very very well, much better than pretty much any male player. Also I feel she is rather attractive. Wonder if she is gay or taken.
Ashley Matrix got state player of the year. Only a nut job could argue anyone else has had a better year, that nut job being my father mentioning David Hussey.
The rogue traders took to the stage. We filmed them 2 weeks ago as they played a gig to 30 people. Now they’re playing to a couple of million punters, and they still suck.
Quick segment on the bollywood cricket film. I have heard the director talk about it, and the film doesn’t sound like its going to be good, but I could be biased cause I think most Bollywood films are sh1t. And most Australian films for that matter.
Being that this is shown live on Fox Sports Brendan Julian and his 4oo dollar hair cut get a run on the main stage.
Fast major controversy as Matt Hayden wins one day player of the year and kisses Gilly’s wife. Still no Slater jokes.
I stand by my pre world cup comments, that Hayden is just not a good one day player and shouldn’t be in the side. I think this last year has vindicated that call.
George Giffen was promoted to the hall of fame, he used to kill Victoria, so we hate him.
Ian Healy was also put in, he received some sort of sh1t stained wooden trophy.
Mark Nicholas takes 3 minutes out of our lives to explain how the Allan Border medal voting system works, just hand it out already.
And the winner is Brett Lee.
Fair effort for someone who missed a butt load of one dayers.
The real winner is Mitchell Johnson, his girl is extraordinary.
Mark Nicholas finishes the night with one last lick at the anal passage of Australian Cricket.
I miss Daddy Nicholas.Please to come home now, thanks.
He’ll be home soon, he is just giving Gilly’s bum one more coat.
Did they honour Steve Bucknor for contibution to ratings ?
No, Bucknor’s not Australian enough. Otherwise harbhajan would have got a message as well.
No umpires JR? Do they honour the Australian umps or are they forgotten ?
Forgotten.
He better hurry home, Suave needs to be tucked in, and read The Wisden Cricketer, before bed.I’ve not slept in months, the old f*cker..
Correct me if I’m wrong but I think 6 home tests last year is the lowest ever for Australia in a long long time – maybe 2 decades. Who am I to complain then that Pakistan is getting 6 in 2 years.Bollywood films rock and the actresses there are better than the blondies that turned up at the AB Medal Night..one of them now owns a cricket team too and she also owns the AB Medal winner! :-)Waste 3 minutes again uncle J and tell me how the voting system for the AB Medal works.
Strange that Channel 9 is so far behind the times; there are actually 11 modes of dismissal; the 11th being Retired Out. This is different from Retired Hurt where you can come back.A couple of Sri Lankans were “out” that way v the Deshis a few years ago (they count as outs in the averages), and Bell was out like that v the NZ invitation XI the other day.
I reckon Cameron White was the real winner, Jacqui Morris is smoking hot.http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/02/26/white_gallery__226x400.jpg
Was Healy inducted into the Hall of Fame in honour of his making everyone else in the Ch9 team look better than they actually are?
q, my vote was for the brunette of mitchell johnson. As for bollywood, give me a break, shocking scripts, pointless dancing, shoddy directing and they all go 2 hours too long. Hollywood may make crap films, but at least they make them shorter. lb, well they couldn’t give it to slater or greig now could they.
Uncle J – Bollywood has come a long way but I’ll not get into that, I’ll just say that bolly hotties gyrating on the pointless dances is wholesome entertainment ;-)Back to the ladies at the AB Medal. Johnson’s partner was a beauty, but I too will go for Jacqui Morris – HOT.
Good post. Hey did you see the female/young/state cricketer awards actually getting presented?
MF, Well I saw the winners leaving their tables, and then a brief cut of them with the awards, if thats what you mean.
I concur with Jrod.Bratich was the prettys.I can’t abide, permatanned, too skinny blonde women.Which is probably why I never made it as an international cricketer.Or…It’s because I’m shit.I’ll go with the former.
It all makes sense now Suave, its the brunettes that killed off our careers. I blame Tanya Herbert, my first crush.
Yeah I was wondering if you saw the abriged version. You two, I suggest maybe your non-cricket careers weren’t because you don’t fancy ultra-skinny blondes (cos it’s bollocks!) I think it might be more because you never got one.So really, it’s the blondes’ fault.
Either way, it’s the women what done it!!I could have been a contender..
Not necessarily. My other suggestion was going to be that you don’t get the tart til you earn it. Er, her. (Sorry, Germaine).Example, do you think any woman would have slept with Shane Warne if he wasn’t a successful cricket? Nuh.
You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. It was you, Blondie.
damn right Jrod..He’s a surprisingly good looking fella in person.A bit like Bill Clinton.Most of the women who shagged him in England, wouldn’t have a clue who he was.
I never even notice the hair colour of the women I ogle over…