Dear Sir/Madam/IPL
My name is Uncle J Rod, and I would like to apply for a position as blogger for one of your teams, preferably a team with a good name, so the Chennai Super Kings is out.
Unlike all the other nay sayers, I think 2020 cricket is the best thing since the upskirt shot in Basic Instict, although it is still no Barbarella.
These are some of the reasons I think I could fit into the IPL.
I also don’t think Ashwell Prince is very good.
Talent wise I am at least on par with Albie Morkel or Simon Katich.
I have no problem with saying that India is the greatest nation on earth, I mean I’ve lied before, I once told this girl her bum didn’t look big in this. Also I will never place my feet near the Indian Flag.
I have a work history of over 500 posts, most of which are not obscene.
I have references from England, Pakistan, New Zealand (yes they are still a cricket nation) and India. None from South Africa though.
I too hate the way Australia control world cricket, I mean look at the way they got that talented young finger chucker banned. Dharmasena I think his name was.
For the job I am willing to do player interviews, players love me, I’m assuming you have heard of Bryce McGain.
Recently I started a petition to get David Hussey into the Australian side, after only a few days I am only 900 people short of my intended target of 1000.
I understand this is an auction process, but I would prefer to work with a team owned by a Bollywood actress, however, I am willing to work for any team where the groupie ratio is 25 to 1.
But I would like to reiterate I will not work for the Chennai Super Kings, as their name is really stoopid.
I understand that a lot of money has been spent on the IPL, and you may be a little skint now, so I will make my reserve price 900,001 dollars, as I refuse to get paid less than Jacques Kallis.
In conclusion I am willing to declare all my other contracts null and void for the 6 week period where I will focus solely on making the IPL the greatest sporting event ever, except for the Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival and the WNBA.
Thank you for your time, and I hope to hear back from you shortly.
Yours truly,
Uncle J Rod
How could they resist such charm.
What a blatant lie – the part about most of your posts not being obscene. Obscenity is your biggest asset, like a well disguised googly (ref to your great leg spinning talents)Anyways, I hope they overlook this small lie and pick you J Rod
You’ve spell-checked this post and everything, just like a proper applicatiion.
Uncle J in 3 years I’ll by one of the teams that have a good name and definitely hire you.Or i’ll marry Priety Zinta before the IPL starts and hire you next month ;-)
Don’t worry, Unkie, I have friends in high places. I’ll get you in.As soon as they come down from Canary Wharf.Badda-boom-CHING!
And I have high friends in places :-)
I have friends in low places.The Atheist, have you already moved on from killing animals, and are now barely concealing my friends bodies, on my route to work!DAMN YOU MAN!
MF, I know. Obaid, colourful not obscene.Miriam, i do that at least 50% of the time. Q, sounds like a plan.Suave & Atheist, you two need to sit down and share a pie.
I would join the IPL, but I’m far too busy representing my nation.It’s not that the IPL don’t want me because I’m too boring. My loyalty to my country is in no way a thin camouflage for my jealousy.
What King Cricket said..I’ll be far too busy representing Essex, in front of 25 people on a freezing cold, cloudy day, in Chelmsford.So up yours IPL!!Where’s your glamour, eh!!
my bad J Rod… colorful, not obscene