The G had grass on the wicket, so there was a different kind of one day game played last night.
You may remember this kind, where bowlers enjoy themselves.
The Indian bowlers enjoyed themselves immensely and the Aussies ended up 150 odd.
The Aussie bowlers were frothing at the mouth to get to the wicket, but when they got there they were too anxious, you know what I’m talking about ladies.
Most people don’t like one dayers when the bowlers dictate.
But most people are idiots.
My perfect one day game would be one team making 184, and the other making 183 and Inzy getting run out.
Perhaps I remember them fondly from my youth, or perhaps, I’m a cricket sadist.
Batsmen get it all too easy these days, how else could you explain Sourav Ganguly and Graeme Smith.
Flat decks, ropes in the outfield, hard replacement balls, and 20 over field restrictions are making batsmen look good.
Who wants to see batsmen look good all the time.
I want to see them bleed, I want them to count their bruises at the end of a match, I want them to be stumped by 4 meters and then fall over in a final act of indecency.
I want them to be publicly pantsed.
I want them to be so angry they hit the dude who opens the gate for them.
I want a batsman to go insane with rage and start a battle to the death with the bowler who has just got him out.
I want wickets with more life in them than a Mormon.
I want wickets who practice adultery, go to swingers parties, engage in public fornication and enjoy all the pleasures of anal $ex.
I want Shaun Tait to come back and literally rip the throat out of some poor helpless English opening batsmen with a ball on a good length.
I want Murali to spin the ball so far he has to land them off the cut strip.
I want a ban on elbow guards, inner thigh pads, chest guards and any other nancy boy protection.
I want Tony Greig to be publicly executed for bringing “crash helmets” into cricket.
I want tail enders to think about how much they love their family before they get in behind a Dale Steyn delivery.
I want batsmen to get hit on the first morning of a match, and to get bamboozled by spin of the last afternoon.
I want blood, carnage and wickets.
I want to know a batsmen can bat, not just watch him flay away bowlers on wickets flatter than an 8 year olds chest.
I want pain, lots and lots of pain, for batsmen and the families, mental, physical and otherwise.
I want bowlers to rule again.
From your lips to God’s ears.
By gods i’m assuming you mean aliens.
These days bowlers are bent over, detrousered and held there.The competition’s just who takes them most roughly.
Yes. Yes. Yes.I want this too man, especially if it’s Matthew Hayden getting hit in the face.Egg Cracking.Omelette.Cookery book no 3.The image of Greame Smith, with blood pi55ing out of his ear, is one that keeps me warm at night.I know that if I had to face a 90mph bowler, on a dodgy pitch, I’d be pulling my hamstring, on my way to the crease. sorry guys, hammy’s gone.. I’ll see you in the bar!
Ganguly? He’s not playing, neither is Graeme Smith. I think he’s busy recruiting players for his Kolkatta team.But then I guess Ganguly still gives nightmares to people.Ganguly is a bait I cannot refuse UJ :)
By the way, putting him alongside Graeme Smith was the nastiest bit of mischief UJ. They’re different, very different in fact.
I am with you on this one bro… Add no restrictions on bouncers bowled per over to that list will you ?? I still fondly watch that video when Michael Holding bowled 5 bouncers to “My mother can _____” Boycott and sixth bowl Boycott nicked one to wicket keeper. On serious note. Yes I have stopped watching cricket since advent of One day cricket thanks to all the neutreing of Bowlers that ICC has done , for people to enjoy more and more sixes hit further and further away with the graphite laced bats. I hate to see games called off when Bowl starts shooting off awkwardly and sissies batsmen of these days run back to pavilion cribbing about playing conditions.
SB, come on mate, even you know that if the game was opened up and green pitches were the norm, ganguly would be out of his depth in a matter of moments.Unsui, Forgot about the bouncers clause, that should be scrapped too.
Agreed, batsmen have it too easy. Let’s get the lbw law right. If the ball is going to hit the wicket (any stump), you’re out. Doesn’t matter where it pitches, or if the bowler is coming around the wicket or over it. If he’s beaten and the ball will hit the wicket, get rid of him.
Later this year when the SAF’s tour of down under is going to be quite an interesting one… Steyn & Morne Morkel if fit, will pose more questions than Indian pacers to Aussies and I hope they fire on all cylinders.That will be quite an interesting battle.Only thing I’d do is change the captain.Boucher is a much better captain than that Graeme “flat track bully” Smith.
Uncle J,On a separate note ,Have you seen the statistics,ever since the Admnistrators have neutered the Bowlers (read the nineties).Inspite of all the restrictions of one bouncer per over , this and that, Walsh,Ambrose,Akram,Mcgrath,Warnie,Kumble and Murali have time and again ripped open all the batting line ups around the world. Does that tell something about the quality of Batters as well , maybe there are more Gangulies(batsmen with doubtful techniques) then you have actually spotted ha ha .. Another point to make is inspite of dice being loaded in their favor,when it comes to salvage a draw by playing out 3 sessions on final day , time and again all the batting lines up (including mighty aussies) have crumbled. That tells something about the batters these days doesn’t it ??Keep writing for the bowlers !!! Good Luck