It is with great excitement that I can write that the man with the fattest ass in international cricket, Michael Kasprowicz, has announced his retirement.
Never has a man, with no talent, been given more of an opportunity to play for his country than the “old warhorse” that is Kaspa.
His ridiculously short pitched bowling meant that he ensured the batsmen had plenty of time to get on the back foot and choose his next shot. His frightening speed had them all quivering too!!!
The bloke could not swing the ball or move the ball off the wicket – in the end he couldn’t even bowl fast offies.
I was unfortunate enough to see his first ODI wicket at the MCG – both Sime and I thought that the ball hit him on the foot given its length – no doubt Sherwin Campbell cannot believe that he played the dumbest shot to third man to get out.
I am glad to see the end of Kaspa, because you could just never second guess the Australian selectors – you just knew that he was always the next in line – irrespective of the form of other Aussie domestic cricketers.
Good riddens to you Kaspa, now may that ass come to good use – Trevor Hohns enjoyed it whilst being chairman of selectors and I reckon there might be a spot in his retirement home just for you.
he did bowl his fast offies very well in india on the last test tour. But overall im glad he is gone. Glad to see after all these years your anger is stayed pure big daddy.
My favourite memory of Kaspa, was seeing him get smashed all around the Essex County Ground, in Chelmsford, during the Ashes tour 2005.Alastair Cook and Ravi Bopara had a good day against the fat arse..Talking of Arses, that was also the same day that I slapped Stuart McGill Esq. on the arse. He didn’t take it too well (as he had been slapped about all day), and called me a fucken queer. I was also thrown out on day two, after seeing FatHeadFlatTrackBully go bezerk. I abused him, and the old fella at the entrance to the members pavilion took offence to my friendly banter, and removed me from the ground.good times.
Perhaps Stuey liked it too much and didn’t know how to deal with it.
Alas, Big Daddy, Kaspa was at his toe breaking best at the MCG last night against the Vics……to my utter dismay, Hussey got sucked into one of of dear Kaspa’s infamous 3/4 trackers and slapped it straight to point were somebody…..wait for it….caught it on the second grab, Geoff Miller style.Ravi Bopara hit Kaspa around?, now I have never accused him of being quite that $hit!
That’s tripe that Kaspa bowled well in India!!Somebody had to bowl from the other end for god sake!!!!All of got flogged around the park on multiple tours…one of the greatest myths in cricket history, that one……even greater than Shane Watson and John Davison…
It was quite I day, I must say Simes.Unfortunately, Hayden then hulk smashed 150 off 118 balls, and Brad Hodge made 166 at pretty much a run a ball.Although I saw very little of Hodges innings, as I was sitting outside the ground at the time!
My dad always told me that fast bowlers had big arses.Clearly Kaspa believed that because he had a big arse, he was a fast bowler – but it doesn’t work that way.All fast bowlers have big arses, but not all big-arsed people are fast bowlers.
Sime, if you don’t believe me look up the figures, i think you’ll see he fared better than gavin roberston or big blocka wilson.
Wicked! Heck, till a few year’s back, he was the only Aussie on re-run (India Glorious) TV – that Sharjah desert storm series, SRT and Kaspro getn rammed – even his reaction was half hearted – the hands always went half high, and then the cokehead sniff. Guess, he always knew how to put a lid on his emotions – and even before the bat bullies could tame him, he was back home all domesticated. But he did make that comeback when Lee was not so hot, a few year’s back. Reckon, players like Bichel and Kaspro gotta work mighty hard on their game, coz they are not quite star players.
Uncle J-Rod and Kaspa… two legends of the game (with big asses) who will be sorely missed
Shane Bond’s got a pretty big arse.But the biggest arse to come out of NZ was Danny Morrison; and he wasn’t even a fast bowler really.
My ass is not as big as kaspa’s, hence why I became a spinner.
I agree with your comments about Kaspas bowling. Never was anything special, but i regard him as better than Bichel, which isn’t saying much.Character was his strenght. Think he bought a certain averageness to the Aussie side. He was normal. The sought of guy i could relate to a bit. I can’t relate to any of the current side. They are much to successful.