Shillingford V Narine

Shane Shillingford is bowling for the West Indies in this Test.

Shillingford has that same pushing-back-at-an-imaginary-person-trying-to-hug-him that Harbhajan Singh does. He gets good bounce. Has a first-class bowling average of 25. Experience over many years of cricket. Has a ten-wicket haul in Test Cricket. Will one day have a stand named after him.

He’s not Sunil Narine.

Sunil Narine has never played a Test, but will probably make more money out of cricket over the previous few weeks than Shillingford ever will. Right now more people are clicking on Narine’s ESPNcricinfo profile, the one that shows his Mohawk well as he smiles cheekily, than have probably ever looked up Shillingford’s profile (which is him looking rather uncomfortable and like he was taken by surprise).

Shillingford was overlooked for the first Test for a debutante; there is not an attack in world cricket that would overlook Sunil Narine right now.

Shillingford is a workhorse, there’s no magic, mystery or mayhem about him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t good. But he’s good as in handy, not good as in Narine.

Narine has tricks that Shillingford will be able to talk about, but probably never replicate. But it isn’t just the tricks that Narine has, his magical mystery ball is amazing, but his normal offspinning delivery is at the moment the best spinning stock ball in world cricket. It bites, and bounces. And even when his carom ball (which if you can pick it, does very little at all) does get worked out, Narine will still be world class.

The best spin bowlers use tricks to confuse batsman who can’t pick it from the hand and embarrass the tail, but it’s the stock ball that you need if you want to be a Warne, Murali or Kumble. Narine is a long way from joining this company, and while his stock ball is far better than that of the last mystery phenom, Mendis, once people pick your trick ball, that’s when it really gets tough for bowlers.

Shillingford’s stock ball is okay. It’s certainly not horrible, and when he’s on a helpful surface he can bowl for an amazing amount of hours and take quite a few wickets. On a surface like this, against a team who is willing to attack him, he looks a bit out of his depth.

In this Test so far, Shillingford is going at 4.7 an over. In the 2012 IPL so far, Narine has so far gone for 5.2 an over.

Today Narine will be watched by close to a billion people, Shillingford by only million or so. One playing for his country. One playing for his financial future.

I hope Narine plays a blinder for Kolkata Knight Riders, wins the IPL and sets up his entire future in one night. But more than that I hope as soon as humanly possible he plays for his region in a Test match.

West Indies have more than a few well-meaning workhorses who are helping them put in slightly improved performances, now they need some magic. And right now, that’s Narine.

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cricket pop culture references: teenage mutant ninja turtles (original live action feature film)

Everyone knows that Raphael is the best teenage mutant ninja turtle.

But the makers of the first teenage mutant ninja turtles film tried to ruin that in many ways.

One of which was to make Raphael and whiny loner.

Another was to make him hate cricket.

It all starts when after leaving the other turtles, Raphael (who’s cool but crude) finds himself in a fight with a guy and baseball bats.

The guy is the oddly cast Elias Koteas (who in this film never wants to have sex with anyone involved in an auto vehicular accident) who says “A new game, roundhead (pause, followed by bat twirl), cricket”.

The twirl is by far the most interesting part of this cricket pop culture reference as Elias, an obvious stanislavski disciple, had clearly watched some cricket before playing this role.

This film was released in 1990, the same year that Alec Stewart played his first Test.

It’s clearly not a coincidence that Elias Koteas, or Casey Jones as his character is known, twirls the bat in the exact same way.

Raphael, not perturbed by the uncanny bat twirl, says, “Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You got to understand what a crumpet is to understand cricket” as Elias taps his bat on his back foot while standing in a fairly common ready to face the ball kind of way.

Any cricket fan hearing someone, even a mutant (not alien) turtle, say something that fucken stupid about the sport they love would be pissed, and Elias certainly is.

Elias then gets down over the bat in a correct way, and uses his feet to come down the wicket (something that Stewart should have tried against Warne) and smashes Raphael in the face who flies through the air and lands in a rubbish bin.

Elias then says, “Ha, six runs”.

While it’s nice that he got the twirl, stance, bat tap and footwork pretty right, perhaps “he’s out caught”, or even just “caught/out” would have been better with Raphael in the bin. Although, we shouldn’t nit pick at such a decent attempt to use cricket in what was a fairly seminal children’s film in the 90s.

It’s also a little known fact that Elias Koteas learnt to love cricket so much because of this scene that he is now trying to write, direct and star in a biopic of Hansie Cronje with a working title of “that damned Hansie”. Elias still hates crumpets.

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two chucks final at lord’s as remixed by DJ Sammy

King Cricket shirt is available here.

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a windies win should inspire some hate

I once mindlessly suggested to my father that it was a shame to see the Windies struggling. That was followed by him abusing me for a long time about how you cant feel sorry for them, as they happily beat up on everyone when they had that chance. His scars were still raw.

But that attitude seems to be disappearing of recent times. The Windies are fast becoming the second favourite team of cricket fans, especially to those who never used to watching the West Indies pummel their country’s batsmen upside their heads.

They’ve been a perfect second side of late. They have exciting young cricketers, mystery bowlers, mini Lara, a talented young quick, and they’re not likely to beat your team in a Test match.

Not that they don’t get close.

At home against India they worked themselves into several good positions only to end up losing or drawing. And against Australia they played well only to fall apart when they needed to be at their best.

Yet again, they’ve snuck up on a better side and find themselves with a good chance of winning the Test. Rudi Webster, the former Windies psychologist recently said they don’t know how to win. To beat England at home, when they’re chasing less than 200 on a solid batting pitch, you need to really back yourself.

The two wickets were promising. But there is little to lose in a four over session that is essentially being played with Hammer Horror type lighting. It is when England puts on a partnership of any note, or as they close in on the total when West Indies will be under real pressure.

Will they do everything they can to win this match, or will they just put in another effort that annoys the opposition before they eventually fold.

It’s nice to be everyone’s second favourite team, but it’s better to win a few matches. They may never be universally feared or hated again, but it would be nice if they could do more than just temporarily annoy fans, and on occasions like this, really ruin the mood of a few opposition fans like my dad. It’s good to piss people off.

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two chucks at lord’s day 3

Thanks to Karachi tips for the free Afridi shirt.

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two chucks meet grandpa broad at lord’s – day 2

And if you want an afghan cricket shirt slap one on right here.

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two chucks at lord’s

If you feel the need to get a bit of Curtly splashed on your chest, you can buy it here.

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